Friday April 30, 2004
...............................I am NOT an indoor cat.
But that's what the Husband and Wife keep telling people. They say I spend all my time indoors now that I'm OLD. I am not old either. Well, not that old. Well, I don't feel that old.
I spent most of the winter indoors (hey, who wouldn't?), but now that the warmer weather is here, I have the old cat urges for the outdoors. So I wander out to the woods and lay in the shade if it's hot, or the sun if it's cool, and enjoy being an animal. I don't chase anything any more. That thrill is gone. I do enjoy watching the birds peck in the grass and the squirrels jump through the trees, though.
But mostly there's the sun and the breeze. Humans don't really understand how nurturing that is. But their plants do. When they have plants indoors all winter, then move them outdoors in the spring, they do better.
This is my heritage. And always will be.
I am not an indoor cat.
Wednesday May 5, 2004
...............................Heard from a contingent of kitties in Nashville recently (Opiegreetings, guys!). Seems one of their sixteen (16!) cats brought home a rabbit that was injured, and their human caretaker was seeking advice on treatment, and stumbled across our humble website.
I'm afraid we weren't much help, since I've always brought home unscathed creatures. But just down the road a bit is a Nature Center. Seems like a contradiction in terms to me, but it's a place where humans go to wander around the woods on established trails, which have signs telling them what they're looking at. Only humans would devise such a set-up.
It's also a place where humans take injured wild animals to be treated, but it's not like that vet place where I sometimes go. At the Nature Center they treat the injured animal, but they keep it. If it recovers well enough, it is released into their protected wooded area. If it wouldn't be able to manage on its own, they keep it in a special area and make sure it has food and care. Only humans would devise that set-up too.
We suspect that Nashville (and other places) have similar Nature Centers, and we all hope the rabbit in Nashville is recovering nicely. And that all sixteen felines (and one dog and two small human offspring) are all doing well. And that they're not apartment dwellers :)
Wednesday May 12, 2004
...............................Felines are considered to be "domesticated," meaning they were once wild animals which adapted themselves to a mutually-dependent relationship with human beings. This occurred mostly by choice (humans were plagued with rodents getting into their food supplies, and we helped 'em out).
But we are related to the large cats, and, as such, we are supremely self-confident. Which is why we like to be outdoors, usually in an elevated position to survey our surroundings, and to look regal.
So yesterday morning I was sunning myself on the upper deck and looking regal and self-confident, when a pigeon (dove, maybe) landed on the deck railing and proceeded to stare at me. For quite a while. Now I was only about 5 feet away, and I could easily have pounced on this creature (well, years ago it woulda been easy). But I didn't. I've learned from years of experience that these critters, once aware of a cat's presence, can take wing very quickly. So I just stared back. This went on 'til I got bored, and I rested my head on my paws and waited for the annoying bird to depart.
Instead, he fluttered over to a potted plant on the deck and began pecking around in it, still only about five feet away. I was a bit surprised and fixed my gaze on him intently. I calculated the distance between us and woke up the appropriate muscles and brought them to attention. I know he felt the ferocity of my stare, because he hastened his pecking. Just as I was about to revert to my wild animal roots and commit to quick action, the nervy bird departed.
And I went back to being regal and self-confident.
Tuesday May 18, 2004
...............................They're doing it again. They're rearranging and/or altering my surroundings. They call this Home Improvement. I call it a nuisance.
The latest nuisance is confined to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. They cut a hole in the ceiling to reveal another room. I never knew that was up there!
They put a folding ladder into the opening - really clever, these humans - so most of the time I don't even remember that it's there. But during the construction process this weekend, the Husband kept trying to coax me up the ladder to check out the new room. Yeah, right.
I don't do ladders.
I was able to observe the movements of the Husband from the floor below, and it didn't look like he was having fun, so I found no further interest in the room overhead. I took a nap 'til it was over and everything was quiet again.
So even though there is now a door in the ceiling, it does not affect my daily routines. Even when that ladder comes down out of the ceiling, it does not impede my comings and goings. If it makes the Husband and Wife happy, it has my approval.
I just wonder what they're going to do next.
Monday May 24, 2004
...............................My cat door is located in the small bathroom downstairs, and the Husband and Wife have begun keeping the bathroom door closed at night. This means I can't get out at night. It also means intruders can't get in. Like Sweeper, a neighborhood cat. He used to come in at night and eat our food. So to avoid any confrontations, indoors or out, access by or to other felines has been removed (we haven't seen Sweeper around since). We still hear the occasional catfight at night outdoors (the feline population around here has expanded by quite a bit over the years), but the Husband and Wife rest more easily knowing I'm not involved.
Not that I go out at night that much any more - I prefer the company of humans when they're around, so I tend to stay near them. Unless I hafta go. Then I would normally pop out to the bathroom bush and do my business, then come back in. But now if nature calls in the wee hours, I hafta use The Litter Box. I don't really mind The Box, so long as it's clean (but there are times when its lacking).
By arrangement with the Husband and Wife, the bathroom door, although closed, is not latched. It still keeps intruders out, but I can push it open if I nudge it so I can get out in an emergency (like a full Litter Box), and I have done so on a couple occasions. That's their cue to clean The Box.
So far it's been a working system. I don't think they're too crazy about cleaning The Box again (I had rarely used it in the nine years I've been here), but I think they consider it a fair trade off knowing I'm safe and nearby.
'Scuse me, I gotta go.
Monday May 31, 2004
...............................Cicadas.
Y'now, those big bugs with the red eyes that show up every seventeen years and make a lotta noise and more little bugs, then die? They were due back two weeks ago. They're all over the rest of New Jersey, but in this part of the county they're non-existent. It's one thing not to see them around, but it's nearly impossible to overlook their distinct sound.
Unless, of course, they're not around.
Very confusing. According to the television set (the modern day Oracle of the Western World), we should be ankle-deep in the things by now. Their arrival had been hyped for weeks, expounding on proper preparations and coping skills for the typical human, with a detailed history of the bugs themselves. We couldn't be more ready.
So where are they?
In my humble opinion, they will still show up around here. The television set was over-anxious, as usual.
But I can wait.
Sunday June 6, 2004
...............................I am a God
I'm awed by many
I sit at their throne
I protect their fields
I work aloneI am the Devil
I suck their breath
I know their lies
They're scared to death
It's in my eyesI am Human
I eat from their plates
I sleep in their bed
I join in their fun
I'm one step aheadI am a Cat
And that's that.
Sunday June 12, 2004
...............................Human beings build things. It’s in their nature as a species. Other species build things also. Beavers build dams, birds build nests, termites build mounds.
But humans build to excess. They don’t just build shelters to live in, they build other shelters to work in, and still other shelters to store things in. Then they build machines to get them from one shelter to another. Then they build shelters for the machines.
Is it me, or is this a concept out of control? When they run out of room to build things, they tear them down and build new ones.
Is this a trait of the “smartest” animal? Dolphins are supposedly as smart as humans; what do they build?
It creates an interesting paradox. As the human population increases, there will be an increasing demand to build things. But available building space will be decreasing. What then? Evolutionary principle says man will start building smaller things. As a result, man will evolve into an ever-smaller being in order to use the smaller things he builds.
Did you know that the huge woolly mammoth, which once grew to a height of twelve feet, was only four feet tall when it finally succumbed to extinction?
According to my calculations, Man will average only three feet tall on May 4, 9287, when the last available building space will be gone.
Then they might allocate some money for the long-dead space program to get them to a planet with elbow room.
Friday June 18, 2004
...............................We've added another Opie to the FOO gallery. This one's from Arlington TX, submitted by his buddy Kurt. Welcome to the page of honor, Opie #6.
We've had rain for the past coupla days. Lots of rain. Several inches worth. Not a continuous downpour, but periods of very intense precipitation. And when it wasn't raining, the humidity was so heavy that you felt like you were underwater anyway. Not a fun time for man nor beast. This beast tried to enjoy his usual nap on the front steps, but there was nothing enjoyable about it. Just lying there was a tongue-dragger. I didn't stay out very long. And of course when it was raining, I didn't venture out at all.
This rain has almost always been accompanied by Thunder. Really noisy Thunder. I don't like Thunder. At all. When either the Husband or Wife is at home during Thunder, I curl up nearby. It doesn't seem to bother them, so I try to follow their lead. But last night there was a really loud one. I mean REALLY LOUD. We all jumped. I was sure Thunder had gotten in the house and I was ready to make a quick exit. But I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, and I didn't want to run into it. The Husband offered a few comforting strokes on my head to assure me that it had gone, but I wasn't convinced. I was up on all fours, my head darting around, apprehensive that I was finally about to confront this mysterious and noisy thing. But as usual, they were right, and I once again curled up on the Husband's lap, but with my ear radar on full alert.
Then the lights went out. They came back on again after a few seconds, but it was another disruption in routine that I could just as well do without. At least they did so quietly. I don't like Thunder. Did I mention that?
Thursday June 24, 2004
...............................The Wife occasionally listens to the current country pop singers. The Husband complains that "today's" country music isn't country music at all; it's just polished commercial sameness. Real country music is surpressed and hard, if not impossible, to find.
I'm inclined to agree with the Husband. Country music today is a particular type of pop country that is seriously lacking one important item; a banjo. Country bands all used to have a banjo (Flatt & Scruggs, The Stonemans, Roger Sprung, et. al.) and they had fun with the music. It's hard to play whining songs about a drunken mate when a banjo is present.
Country music has become corporate-managed techno-crap. Every time rock music gets like that, there is a revival of the basics that is rock, and garage bands move to the fore, and the industry suits scramble to mass-produce the "new" sound. But country is lacking that revival. It's mired in the same old junk. And it's overdue.
So get out your banjoes, all you pickers and grinners, and get out there and breathe real life into country music. Form a country garage band (barn band?). Have fun. It's your civic duty to music history. Earl Scruggs would be proud.
You heard it here.
Wednesday June 30, 2004
...............................Did you ever wonder why a cat hisses? It's hereditary (what isn't?) The cat is trying to imitate a snake.
Really.
Predators have an inbred instinct about poisonous snakes (don't you?). Even if they've never seen a snake, they know upon the first encounter that they're in a pecka trouble. They back off.
Somewhere a bazillion years ago, a cat picked up on this, and warded off predators by hissing like a snake. It worked. Did you also notice that a threatened cat will flatten its ears and open its mouth in a wide gape when hissing? Snake impression. A cat's head is snake-shaped when the ears are flat.
The fangs help the image. And with the hissing comes spitting, suggestive of venom. And the switching tail? Snake impression.
Honest. This is for real.
Now a large dog obviously knows a cat is not a snake, but the hissing, spitting and twitching triggers an ancient instinct in the dog that says back off or you'll be sorry.
And it works.
Honest. This is really true. I know it sounds silly, but I do a great snake impression.
Okay, don't believe me.
But it's true.
Tuesday July 6, 2004
...............................
I have chosen, in my elder years, to stay in close proximity to the Husband and the Wife during the nighttime hours. And it's been quite a while since I brought home any critters, at any time of day. So I think the Husband was quite surprised when I brought him a mouse at 2 am yesterday morning.
I think it must've been some nostalgic urge that led me out that night, and it's surprising how the old instincts are revived when one is placed in the proper environment. Mice venture out into the lawn at night, chewing up on seeds dropped by the weeds during the day. When a cat is spotted, they either run or freeze, depending on the nearness of shelter. They think by remaining motionless, they won't be noticed. But I'm onto their tricks. It was surprisingly easy. Catching mice is like riding a bicycle (not that I've ever done the latter, but you've probably never done the former) - you never forget.
So I returned with my prize and found the Husband still awake at his computer, and I placed the critter gently on the floor nearby.
Okay, I didn't remember everything. I forgot that they don't just stay where they are placed. They take off. And that's just what this guy did, with me in pursuit. And there's nothing like a little pursuit to get the Husband's attention. So we cornered the guy behind a board game box (Cat-opoly, ironically). With me on one side and the Husband on the other, the Husband managed to use a pencil to nudge him toward the little green humane trap. It was all over in a coupla minutes, and the Husband returned him to the outdoors.
Fairly routine for a critter capture, but I enjoyed it. The mouser is back!
Well, for one night, at least.
Monday July 12, 2004
...............................
Hairballs. And the pets who have 'em.
It's the unfortunate conjunction of two fortuitous events of nature.
First, cats are fur-bearing animals. This should come as a surprise to no one. It keeps us warm, unlike naked humans, who have to pile layers of material on themselves and lug it around with them. Of course, they make a positive statement out of it, building a multi-million dollar industry out of precisely what to "wear."
But I digress. Secondly, cats are habitually neat and tidy. All that shedding fur immediately gets licked right out of the permanent coat. Of course, you know the results. The Wife doesn't know which is worse - the hairball itself, or the noise I make announcing its arrival.
Of course I'm not too crazy about it myself.
The Husband has taken to brushing me every evening now, in the hopes that he will get the loose fur before I do. I'm pulling for him.
And I would do all this unpleasantness outdoors, but I can never tell when one of the nasty things will present itself.
GAKK!! uuuuuuurrhh GAKK!!
'Scuse me, gotta go.
Sunday July 18, 2004
...............................
Every year around this time (as dictated by the almighty calendar), the Wife disappears for a week. The Husband manages to keep himself busy with extra hours at his job during the day. That means he arrives home well after my dinnertime. I complain, but it doesn't help.
But there are positives to this arrangement. Without the Wife around, the Husband carries on long conversations with me, and I never object to being the center of attention. Last night the Husband and I shared a pizza (his share was much greater than mine).
The Wife is at the shore. That's a place where there's lots of water. We just had major flooding in this area, and she's off to a place with lots of water. She's there with her sisters and nieces and nephews. She'll come home next weekend, as usual.
In the meantime, the Husband and I will be having pizza for a week.
Saturday July 24, 2004
...............................
Nine years ago I found myself alone in the woods one night, without knowing why. When morning came, there were no familiar surroundings and no one to feed me. I noticed a lot of humans entering a nearby building, and where there are humans there is food. So I made my way over to them and waited for one of them to feed me. But mostly they ignored me. One nice lady did offer me a piece of a cupcake. Soon they were all inside and I was alone again.
But around midday they started to appear outside again. Another nice lady petted me, then left. She was back a little while later with some real cat food, which I greatly appreciated.
Everyone appeared again later, sitting on chairs on what they called a loading dock. Some were chatting, some indulging in a smoking habit (and they say people are smarter than animals). They could see me from there, and they invited me over, and I went. They took turns petting me and talking to me. That's when I met the Husband. Over the next week he took the responsibility of seeing that I was fed, and I had a box to sleep in under the chairs that offered some shelter.
I didn't realize that the Husband was going home each night to convince the Wife that they needed another cat (they already had two). They spent time making space for me in the downstairs part of their house and figuring out how to avoid conflict with the other felines.
One evening, after the Husband had fed me on the loading dock and I was prepared to spend another night in the box, he surprised me by taking me home with him. They had food dishes ready for me and a place on the downstairs couch to spend my time. I was a beloved indoor cat again! That was nine years ago today.
I have never understood why humans choose to celebrate calendar days marking past events when they should be celebrating each new day as it happens. But in this case, I kinda understand.
Friday July 30, 2004
...............................
Well, it's either been too hot to go out, or it's been raining cats and ... raining furiously. At first it was simply a matter of curling up on the couch and not caring. Now it's cabin fever time.
I'm not as quick as I used to be, but that doesn't detract from critter-hunting. It just detracts from critter-catching :) But the objects of my hunt have all burrowed underground to escape the heat. My only chance at them is when it starts to rain. They come out then. But I've gotten pretty comfy being a house cat. There is no joy in wet fur when there is a dry house to occupy. So the critter situation can wait. Unless I get lucky (note: there is no luck. It's all skill and opportunity. And speed).
Normally I can stretch out on the cool concrete at the base of the front stairs, shaded by shrubbery and partake of cool breezes.
Except there haven't been any cool breezes. And before long, the heat has me panting, and my tongue hangs out so far I trip over it.
Or it's raining furiously.
So the couch it is.
For now.
Friday August 6, 2004
...............................
The Husband pulled a fast one on me a couple nights ago. He came home at the usual time, and fed me as usual. He then sat on the couch and read the paper, as usual, and, after dining, I joined him as usual by occupying his lap. It's been a time-honored tradition around here.
But that night, while being petted as he read the paper, I noticed an open cat carrier on the nearby love seat. I know what its function is, and it does not make me comfortable. And even though he continued reading the paper and petting me, I couldn't help feeling apprehensive. I decided to do my catnapping elsewhere. But when I got up to leave, he wouldn't let me. Instead he picked me up and tried to insert me into the aforementioned carrier. I, of course, offered some resistance.
But the next thing I new, I was at the vet being poked and prodded, and, following a couple injections (from which I was distracted by the Husband and a vet assistant), it was over. I was back in the carrier (into which I went more willingly this time), the Husband was thanking the vet, and we were on our way home.
Once home, things were back to normal. I expected to be more traumatized by the whole thing, but it was a big nothing. I guess I'm getting old and jaded. I forgave the Husband and joined him back on the couch, occupying his lap while he read the paper, just like always.
For the record, for an overweight 13-year-old feline, I'm in pretty good shape. But I knew that.
Thursday August 12, 2004
...............................
Humans worship a god called Time, whose religious symbol is the Clock. He is a strict god too. The simple convergence of the two hands on a clock can raise stress levels to unhealthy proportions. The affection that occurs between a man and woman means nothing if one of them is “running behind” and making the other “late,” according to the movement of the hands.
Humans go off to work. If they don’t arrive every day at a pre-determined position of the hands on the clock, they run the risk of losing their livelihood.
And if something is supposed to occur at a specific time and doesn’t, humans are required to take it personally.
Humans allow themselves to be controlled by Time. They don’t need to. They could walk away from it. But they won’t. They’ll hurry through dinner to be at a specific place at a specific time, even though the specific time is purely arbitrary.
Tired or not, they sleep at a specific time so they can awake at a specific time.
Cats sleep when tired and awake after resting. And they pretty much do other things when they want.
No wonder cats rule the world.
Wednesday August 18, 2004
...............................
Somehow, a couple of small cats got into the house when I wasn't looking. But even more confusing is that the Husband and the Wife seem to want them here. They hide out in that new room downstairs, and they come out when the Wife gets home.
They're a bit annoying - they run around everywhere, getting into things. Extreme curiosity. They occasionally try to approach me, but I hiss them away, and they get the message. Sometimes we just sit and stare at each other. That's how felines make acquaintances, y'know. You may sit in my presence and if hostilities don't break out, then you're accepted.
This may take a while. But they're only around in the evenings when the Wife is home. The rest of the time, the house is mine. And the Husband always keeps me company, whether they're around or not.
They haven't really interrupted my routine. But I do like to keep an eye on them - a smart cat knows his environment, and it looks like their gonna be part of mine.
They have their own room, food and litter box; everything else is mine. Seems fair.
We'll see how it goes.
Tuesday August 24, 2004
...............................
I'm not a happy cat. I'm in my golden years, and I've adapted my social time to curling up next the the Husband while he's home, either at his computer or in front of the television. When he isn't around, I sleep, usually on the spare bed. It was a quite-comfortable existence, and I was prepared to enjoy my later years doing nothing else.
Then THEY arrived. The little white furballs. I expected their presence to be temporary, and it was. Until the next day, when they were back again. I found out they've been living in that new room downstairs where no one ever went before. They're behind closed doors during the day, so my extended catnaps during the day won't be interrupted. But when the Husband and Wife are home, they're running all over the house, getting into everything. If I try to get a little laptime with the Husband while the tv is on, these little demons have to be there too, staring at me, like I'm some kinda tourist attraction.
The only peace I get is outside. I know they don't go out, so I can pretty much expect to be left alone out there. So I curl up on the front steps our out on the deck and enjoy the sun and the breezes. But I miss the Spouses. The little furballs monopolize their time and their presence. Except late at night, when they return to the room downstairs. Then the Husband is at his computer and all is quiet. I can still count on a few hours napping peacefully beside him as he laboriously hunts and pecks and surfs.
And when the Husband and Wife take their long naps in the big bed, I'm there.
If the little furballs would just learn the fine art of catnapping they'd be more tolerable. I think they should start getting tired pretty soon.
Monday August 30, 2004
...............................
Well, the new guys are starting to become a little less hyper. But they're no longer confined to the little room downstairs. So now, when they're not running all over the place, they're sprawled out wherever it's convenient for them. Usually in a favorite spot of mine. But I ignore them. As long as they ignore me.
The problem is that when the Husband and Wife are around, they want to monopolize them. They don't seem to care that I was here first. It's really annoying. So eventually I just get fed up and leave. If the Husband tries to join me, the little furballs tag along. So I have to content myself with my favorite outdoor spots, where the new guys can't go.. Sometimes the Husband tries to join me out there, but, being a human, he can't handle the heat, so he doesn't stay too long. I do appreciate the effort.
I'm hoping the new guys learn enough to respect territorial boundaries. They need to learn that my spot on the couch is off limits. So is my food dish. And basically, that anywhere I go, they don't.
And the Husband and Wife are mine.
Sunday September 5, 2004
...............................
This is a significant day in my nine lives (I know, calendars are not a resource for cats, but in this case I make an exception). On the Sunday of the three-day Labor Day Weekend (another calendar event) four years ago, the Husband brought home a little calico cat and housed her in the garage, allowing her access to the house for brief periods. At first I was mildly curious (a natural feline trait) and had no real objection to her presence, as long as she kept in her place.
She was as curious about me as well, and she would follow me around (at a respectful distance, of course). She was fully grown, but just out of kittenhood, and she was in need of mentoring. Guess who that job fell to?
So I didn't object if she wanted to follow me around, as long as she stayed out of my space. It took a while, but eventually we were doing everything together, including catnaps. Our spaces were mingling.
The short version is that we became best friends. We were a team, greater than the sum of its parts. Even though I was eight years older, she kept my inner kitten alive.
But now she's gone, and I'm still aware that something is missing. So are the spouses - I still hear them mention c.c.'s name occasionally. The Husband has added a new web page as a tribute to c.c., and September is now officially c.c. month. At least around here.
The new cats that have arrived are curious about me, as I am about them, but they are not c.c. That bond will never be renewed - because it's never really been broken.
Saturday September 11, 2004
...............................
(The following is an update of Opie's entry for this date last year. It's still appropriate now, so here it is again).
A domesticated cat will learn to accept living with a bird (or even a mouse) because they have learned to accept another odd relationship, that with humans. Humans offer cats security, and therefore survival of their species. It all comes down to Nature's basic law - survival of the fittest.
Practically everything in Nature is prey to something else, except humans. Humans have no natural predators. To make up for that, they prey on each other. They created "hate" - a behavior that doesn't exist in Nature - it is peculiar to humans. And they refined it to an art form. They form "hate groups," and prey on other humans that are not like them. But hate defies Nature's laws - it does not perpetuate survival of the species; it tends to have an opposite effect.
Today humans are reflecting on the particular actions of the hate predators that occurred on this calendar date three years ago, and vowing that they will survive and the predators will not. Some have referred to the predators as animals.
But, as we know, animals are better than that.
Friday September 17, 2004
...............................
Not a whole lotta humans know this, but cats meow for only one reason - to get the attention of a human. Feral cats that have never had any human interaction do not meow at all. Cats communicate with each other non-verbally, usually through staring and observing, along with acts of aggression or submission in varying degrees to acknowledge or reject each other's actions.
This is instinct in cats, and it serves them well. But humans do not respond to this form of communication, which really annoys the cat (no cat likes being ignored). Eventually the cat realizes from observing humans that they communicate by making vocal sounds at each other, so the cat tries doing the same. It's not an attempt to communicate but rather an announcement saying "Hey, pay attention - I have a non-verbal communication for you." So a cat will meow at a human until the human responds, at which point the animal will attempt the form of communication it knows best. That's when the humans should pay attention.
c.c., of course, was an exception. She meowed constantly whenever humans were around. She was attempting human-type communication. One thing for sure - she was never ignored. Sure is quiet around here since she left. I miss that.
The new guys have yet to utter a meow. They get attention by getting in your face, whether you're human or feline. They never utter a sound, even when they're wrestling with each other on the floor, or chasing each other down the hall. Not even at meal time (when I can usually be heard attempting to communicate with the Spouses). How do they expect to earn cat treats if they don't meow?
I see I'm going to have to be a role model once again.
Meow.
Thursday September 23, 2004
...............................
Okay, I think a rapport has been established. The new guys (I guess I should stop referring to them as the new guys, 'cause it's looks like they'll be around for a while) are pretty much getting to know my likes and dislikes. They know when to approach me and when not to. They know from a single bat on the head that they are to cease and desist whatever annoying activity they are engaged in. They know that my food dish and my tail are off limits (although the food still mysteriously disappears after I leave).
I think they're becoming a bit more civilized. If they find me snoozing on the couch, they approach cautiously and settle in for a nap of their own instead of soliciting my attention.
So to let them know I accept this new rapport, Tuesday night I jumped up on the loveseat where they were both napping together, and I began grooming them simultaneously, which they accepted with pleasure (they really like being licked around the ears). I have done this once or twice before when they approach me, looking for some kind of interaction, but this was the first time I approached them.
The Husband, who was nearby on the couch, observed this gesture, and ran to get his camera. He must've thought it was some kinda milestone worthy of being recorded.
Of course I had ceased all evidence of affection by the time he had returned.
He'll hafta wait 'til next time.
Tuesday October 5, 2004
...............................
Squirrels. Rodents; first cousins to mice. You'd think a cat could capture them while sleepwalking. But there's something about squirrels that totally separates them from their mouse cousins. They're quick. I mean really quick. They drive me nuts.
And this time of year, when things cool off considerably, you can see them everywhere, gathering lunchables for the winter. An ideal time to catch them off guard, right?
Those guys are never off guard.
I used sit up on the deck and watch a dozen or more combing the woods' edge for their particular brand of crunchies, and every so often I would spot an inattentive one, digging furiously and not once looking up. So I would creep catlike (how else?) down the stairs and stealthily across the yard. The other squirrels would spot me and dart away, but the digger was still not looking up. I stopped within charging range and froze. Still he wasn't looking up.
Then one of his buddies would chirp an alarm. Where's the fairness in that? Just as I was about to descend on his neck to carry him home, he was gone, with me in hot pursuit.
Note: In a cat/squirrel pursuit, the squirrel always wins. But the cat always tries.
I'm retired now. But I still watch the squirrels at the edge of the woods. And remember the good ol' days.
Monday October 11, 2004
...............................
Today is the Husband and Wife's anniversary. Twenty years. They buy themselves a single present as a gift to each other on these occasions, and this year, by necessity, they are presenting each other with a new washer and dryer (I know, that's two gifts but think unit here). The old washer is puttering its last (it 's the same age as their marriage), and the dryer has already been repaired once. They haven't got them yet, but considering that the old washer has a habit of just stopping in mid-wash, it won't be too long.
If my internal clock is correct (and if it's not, who cares), the leaves should have been changing colors by now. But they aren't. Just a little flicker of color here and there.
It's still reasonably warm out too - that can't last too much longer. The colors and the temperatures are going to change all at once, I suspect.
Cats are not completely color blind. A myth. We can discern vibrant fall colors.
And that stuff about one cat year equaling seven human years? Another myth. The first year of a cat's life is equal to 21 human years. A cat becomes full grown in its first year. Each successive year is equivalent to four human years. We are here to inform.
We hope there are colorful leaves where you are.
Sunday October 17, 2004
...............................
The Wife is away for a while - on an island somewhere. By choice, even.
In her absence we (Hunky, Dorie and I) have claimed her spot on the Big Bed. Usually it's crowded with two humans and three felines, so Hunky and Dorie don't spend much time there - they busy themselves chasing each other around the house all night while I curl up between the Husband and the Wife. But it's just right with one less human - Hunky and Dorie curl up at the foot of the bed on the Wife's side, while I curl up next to the Husband's shoulder. And everybody naps through the night - even Hunky and Dorie.
Yesterday the Wife's father showed up here early, and he and the Husband went right to work on the front steps (they've been doing this a long time - they're converting brick to wood, which sounds like it would take a long time).
I supervised for a while, and things were going well until it started to rain. Then it was a quick scramble to get all the power tools (those noisy things I don't like a lot) into the garage. And that sorta wrapped up work for the day.
They're gonna try again today, but after the rain yesterday it got very chilly, and past experience tells me it's gonna be a lot of months before it gets warm again. But they did get the important stuff done (there's a bottom step, finally!) and the front steps are functional. The remaining work is cosmetic.
As long as I can get to my bathroom bush, I consider it a success.
Saturday October 23, 2004
...............................
Clocks and calendars are these arbitrary devices designed by and for the inconvenience of humans. They rule their lives. They even take the form of slave bracelets, worn on the wrist, to remind humans of just who their master is.
Cats don't need these devices. We maintain our freedom from time constraints, yet we have our own internal clocks that serve us well. We are aware that this time of year is when all the woodsy creatures burrow in for the cold months ahead, and the birds depart for warmer climates. Even we domesticated felines grow heavier coats to cope with the temperature changes.
Normally the chilly temperatures have arrived by now, but the Husband explained that they were holding off until the front step renovation was complete. Sure. But the steps are complete, and the cold is due.
Which brings up a previously unconsidered dilemma. Colder temperatures mean I will be spending more time indoors for the next several months. With the mini-marauders, Hunky and Dorie. I hadn't thought about that until I realized it was cooling off outdoors, and lying in the sun wasn't the warm feeling it used to be.
Whenever Hunky and Dorie get overly-hyper (hyper being their natural state), I would escape to the deck for some peace and quiet (they aren't permitted access to the outdoors). Now I'm either going to have to deal with them or freeze my furry butt off.
Of course, as they grow older, they will mellow out a bit, and I will better cope.
Maybe by next Autumn. Keep warm.
Friday October 29, 2004
...............................
First of all, I'd like to say hi to Bitsy, Scottie and Patches (and Judy too) in Virginia. I need to do so here because I, er, kinda lost your new e-mail address :) If you could send that along again we would be most appreciative. Thanks.
It's the end of another month, and the end of the warm days. There is a long spell of cold coming and that means more time indoors with the eternally energetic twosome. Being indoor dwellers, they won't get to appreciate the seasonal changes in temperatures or the odd occurences of that stuff called snow. But they won't miss it either. They'll just continue to chase each other around the house and generally be annoying.
One thing they will get to experience for the first time is happening this weekend. It's that Halloween thing. A bunch of kids in the neighborhood put on strange outfits and try to scare the neighbors. The Husband and Wife have discovered that if you give them candy they'll go away. I have a secure spot behind a chair that gives me a full view of the front door, and I sit there all night and watch the comings and goings. I'll be curious (of course) to see how Hunky and Dorie react to this parade of diminutive demons.
Sometime during the evening, all the Wife's nieces and nephews show up, also disguised like the rest of the evening's visitors, only the Wife offers them extra candy to stay a while and have their pictures taken.
This occurs every year, and it's supposed to be scary, but I think it's just entertaining.
A couple days after that is when it gets really scary. They call that a presidential election.
Friday November 5, 2004
...............................
It's cold, wet and miserable outside. Not what a cat likes to find on the other side of the door. I hate it, and neither the Husband or the Wife choose to do anything about it; they just let it happen. But I gotta use that bathroom bush, so out I go (it's still preferable to that box o' dirt downstairs).
Fortunately, I have lots of padding, covered with fur. But I also have lots of years, and the outdoor experience ain't what it used to be. So I enjoy my catnaps on the living room couch while the wind howls.
Said catnaps used to be hard to come by. The kittens always wanted to play. If I chose not to play (which was most of the time), they felt the need to play in my presence. Very annoying when a feline needs to nap. But recently a change has occured. When the kittens find me napping, they join me and grab some naptime for themselves. Now that's being a feline. The Spouses also join us and activate the tv to enhance the mood, and we all lay about in nap mode.
One big happy catnappin' family. A very workable solution to the cold months ahead.
Meow.
Thursday November 11, 2004
...............................
Well, if I thought last week was chilly, imagine my surprise to find a layer of frost on everything yesterday. Frost is something that occurs naturally, but not in the house, so guess where I'll be most of the time now.
I have my days where I welcome the cold weather as an adventure. The air is different, the trees and shrubbery are different, the ground is different. It's worth exploring. So I do. And I did yesterday. But the ol' footpads aren't as insulated as they used to be, so adventures aren't as compelling as they used to be.
The younger humans in the neighborhood (they call them kids) like to be out exploring in the cold morning too. I see lots of them bundled up in extra clothing (which they wear in lieu of growing extra fur for the season) trudging along the sidewalks. But all that extra clothing slows them down, and they never get any further than the corner, where they stop and rest with other bundled-up kids. Finally, someone sends a big yellow bus to pick them up. Just growing extra fur would be easier.
And with a creek bed and the woods so handy, my explorations are limited to my back yard, so when it stops being an adventure and starts being just plain cold, it's a short walk home.
Keep warm.
Wednesday November 17, 2004
...............................
There is this big electronic box in the living room. It's called a television. It's allegedly for entertainment purposes. Hunky and Dorie entertain themselves by chasing the moving shapes across the screen. The Husband and Wife just stare at it hypnotically. I tend to ignore it altogether, except for the fact that when it's on I know the Husband and/or Wife are nearby with laps to share.
I can usually count on an hour or so of lap time when the tv is on. Sometimes it's just the Husband, sometimes just the Wife. Hunky and Dorie have caught on to this phenomenon as well, but as the Alpha Cat, I get the pick of the laps.
Last night was a bonanza. Not only were both the Husband and the Wife present, but they zoned out for the entire evening, from Jeopardy to the 11 o'clock news. Even the normally hyper kittens took advantage of some peaceful quality time. I got first lap selection, as usual, but after a couple hours, we shifted, trying all combinations of laps, sofa pillows and arm rests.
And of course there were head strokes, belly rubs and back scratches for the duration. It was a satisfying and restful evening.
Gotta hand it to the guy that invented that tv thing.
Tuesday November 23, 2004
...............................
Firstly, greetings to another Opie and his roommates out in Las Vegas. Welcome to The Project!
Since the arrival of Hunky and Dorie, my access to the cat door has been limited (those little guys get themselves in enough trouble indoors). The cat door is in the downstairs bathroom, so the Spouses keep the bathroom door closed at all times. But sometimes I just like to get out and do my catnapping where it was intended, so I have to sit by the door and wait to be noticed. Sunday was such a time. The Husband was out in the back yard pushing leaves around. It's some kind of fall ritual. I wanted to join him, but I couldn't get the Wife's attention to let me out. She was busy with that noisy vacuum thing that I don't like.
While waiting, I happened to notice that the downstairs bathroom door, though it appeared closed, was not quite enough for the latch to engage. Pushing on it with my nose parted it sufficiently for me to get through, and soon I was out lounging in the yard and keeping the Husband company while he played with the leaves.
Soon after, Dorie discovered the open bathroom door, and eventually figured out the cat door. The Spouses were busy doing their own thing, and her absence wasn't noticed until the open bathroom door was discovered. A search ensued, first in the bushes around the house, then along the woods and creek, while calling for her. Being a curious kitten, she could have just taken off in a straight line with no walls to impede her progress.
But she didn't; she was discovered waiting by the back door, as if to say "Where have you been? I'm hungry."
And that bathroom door is now definitely closed.
Monday November 29, 2004
...............................
Around this time of year, when it really starts to get cold outside, the Husband and Wife begin engaging in some unusual but interesting behaviors. It begins with an abundance of white meat turkey pieces. They eat it every day, and there's still enough left over for occasional treats for us felines.
Then little decorations begin to appear throughout the house - snowmen, guys in red suits and holly. While outside, all up and down the street, people are hanging hundreds of little lights on their houses, shrubs and trees.
Speakin' o' trees - the Husband and Wife go out and select a tree at random and bring it into the house, presumably to protect it from the cold. But they hafta kill it first - there's something I'm missing here - then they hang those lights and other things on it.
Then the Wife regularly returns home with multiple bags of stuff in boxes. She takes the stuff out of the boxes, shows it to the Husband, then puts it back and sticks it all in a closet until one day she drags it all out again, wraps colorful paper around it and hauls it all away, never to be seen again. There's also some stuff she doesn't show the Husband; that stays behind and ends up under the indoor tree.
The Husband has boxes of stuff too, but he doesn't go out and get them; some guy in a brown truck brings them to him.
Then one day they get up early and sit around the tree and remove all the colorful paper and show each other what's in the boxes. Then they put it all back in the boxes. Although there's usually a couple things that are cat-specific that they leave out for us.
And people tend to visit more often this time of year. They wish each other well and smile. Everyone seems happy this time of year. That's the cool part.
Happy tree season!
Saturday December 11, 2004
...............................
It was cold and rainy out last night, but I needed the peace and quiet of the front steps. It definitely gets quiet after dark; everyone's inside being warm and dry. So I find a dry spot next to the house and enjoy the solitude. Inside the house the big tree continues to shed those bright red balls, and the little ones continue to bat them around the house in a manic kitten frenzy.
When I do go out, it's usually brief - long enough to use the bush and check out the status of the perimeter of the house. Either the Husband or Wife will sense that I've been out long enough, so I make sure I'm back on the front steps to be let back in.
But last night when the Husband opened the door to let me in, I chose to remain in my little dry corner and I signaled him a small non-verbal "No thanks." The odd look on his face told me he was confused. He opened the door further, but I still didn't respond. So he came outside and sat on the steps next to me (on the wet steps, no less - I really don't think humans would survive long periods out of their houses) and we chatted non-verbally. At first I think he thought I might be ill (just because I didn't respond as expected), but after a while we just sat there and shared the solitude.
All cats need attention; it's more than having food and shelter. Cats have a bond with humans that is evolutionary, going back thousands of years. I can always count on having a lap to nap on and purr-evoking strokes of my fur, but surprise attention is doubly welcome. Like when the Husband chooses to endure the discomfort of the wet steps just to keep me company.
Or maybe he wanted to get away from the rampaging kittens too. I prefer the first explanation.
Friday December 17, 2004
...............................
Today should be fun. The Husband managed to find one of those flu things, which means he gets to stay in bed all day and sleep. How cool is that? He gets to be a cat for a day. And we get to curl up with him and enjoy head rubs and backstrokes. And there will be the refreshing drone of a television all day. I don't know what the attraction is for humans, but when it's on, it means they're around with available laps for receiving attention, so we like it for that.
Apparently there's a limit to how many of the flu things a human can have. I can't remember the last time we all got to spend the day in the big bed. It was a lotta years ago.
The Husband began early last night. He fell asleep right after dinner on the couch. Then he partially woke up, and without waking up further, managed to find his way to the big bed. I joined him for the evening, while Hunky and Dorie chose to accept the attentions of the Wife. It was a good arrangement.
When the Husband sleeps on his back, I'm able to curl up in his armpit and purr loudly in his ear. He likes that. I can tell 'cause I get constant back rubs when I purr. And I purr when I'm getting constant back rubs. A very efficient system.
But then what can be better than a day in bed? Humans rarely do that.
I guess the Husband is just lucky.
Thursday December 23, 2004
...............................
This is one hectic period of time around here. It has to do with the humans penchant for celebrating things according to dates on a calendar. Unlike cats, who celebrate life every day, humans set aside certain days for celebrations and chart them according to the position of the planet in its orbital path around the sun. Or something.
This particular celebration is in a coupla days. It involves giving us cats colorful paper and empty boxes to play with. But it's very involved - they spend a whole month preparing for this. I think it's the biggest thing humans celebrate all year.
On a smaller scale they also celebrate the aging process of individual humans. As each celebrant marks off another year of life, they have a party. Does that make sense? But that's no more than a day or two of preparation. So what happens when one of these smaller aging celebrations falls around this time of year? It's kinda takes second place to all the decoration and preparations for Box and Paper Day.
Which is exactly what's happened to two of the Husband's nieces. One of 'em turns 21 today. The other's is next week. Not that their families don't go all-out to celebrate them as much as they would any other time of the year, but these celebrations are brief and quickly forgotten as the bigger holidays command more attention. I feel kinda bad for them, since humans need their celebrations.
And a week after the Box and Paper Day, there's another big celebration of the calendar. It's the point when the old year ends and the new one begins. It's called New Year's Day.
Unless you're a cat. Then it's called Saturday.
Thursday December 30, 2004
...............................
It's been a year of ups and downs. We still miss c.c., and always will, but there have been changes for the better too. There's a new look about the house with all the remodeling that the humans have attended to. And there're two new felines prancing around the place that I'm actually starting to enjoy.
Seven years ago, on New Year's eve, the Husband and Wife discussed having their own website that would include all of us, and from that small brainstorming session, the Opie Project was born. And we're all still at it.
In a coupla days a new year begins (which has more significance to humans than it ever will to cats), and the eighth year of the Opie Project gets underway. Hunky and Dorie will be getting older and fatter in the coming year, but they'll still be kittenish at heart. I don't plan on doing anything much different, as you will see in the pictures that will be posted. Although I suspect Hunky and Dorie will insist that I join them in their kitten games. That's a possibility. We'll see.
Do join us for another year of feline adventure, another 180 observations from our own personal viewpoints, and more than a thousand photos detailing what being feline is all about.
Happy new year!
January 5, 2005
---Wednesday---
We're gonna get an ice storm today. The Husband and Wife have noted that the talking heads in the tv box said so, so it has to be true. Now I do know that it has to get cold to have ice, and it's not exactly ice weather out there. I was lounging on the new bench on the front steps all last evening (I'm getting to like that bench - it nestles next to the bushes, so I can have a flat dry spot and some shrubbery to hide in at the same time) and never got a chill.
But the stars weren't visible, and there was a grayness and a breeze and other stuff that provide animals some warning of portending inclemency (we don't need no stinking tv box!), so the Spouses and the talking heads are probably correct. Looks like I'll be spending the whole day with Hunky and Dorie today.
The little guys are getting bigger. And a little easier to tolerate. They're still a bit rowdy, but they do show respect for their elders (they no longer automatically assume I want to play whenever I walk in the room). And when I choose to nap, they join me (that's a security thing among felines - napping while physically touching is an automatic alert system - if one cat is suddenly awakened, they all awake).
So we're all getting along. This is what humans call the new year - it signifies a fresh start, and provides optimism for all. I like that.
Happy Fresh Start.
January 11, 2005
---Tuesday---
Yesterday was one of those days that we got to spend quality napping time with the Husband.He decided to spend the day with his feline friends, just hangin' out. He went out briefly in the morning to a dentist place and had a tooth yanked out of his head, but then he came back to us for the rest of the day and we all napped on the big bed.
He brought his bottle of Advil snacks with him so he wouldn't have to get up periodically, then we all got comfortable. I got the prime location curled up against his right arm. Hunky and Dorie chose to huddle together against his leg., while the Husband slept on his right side with his face laying on a big ice pack.
There was no music or tv to distract our napping, and we all pretty much stayed in the same position all day. The Husband did get up once to gobble a handful of Advil and to get a fresh ice pack, and we departed briefly for the kitchen when the Wife got home and fed us, but we were back together shortly thereafter. Just a nice quiet day with no major disturbances to our naptime.
We enjoy it when the Husband takes time out of his busy schedule just to spend time with his furry friends. We're sure he was having a good time too.
January 23, 2005
---Sunday---
Y'know all that snow we never got last year? Well, it all arrived yesterday.
Now I've been around for a few years. I know what snow is and I know to avoid it. In my younger years I might have played in it. Briefly. But no more. When I see snow on the ground, I know to curl up in the living room chair and just nap.
The Husband still likes to play in it though. He has this thing called a Shovel, and he takes it out in the snow and just tosses the stuff around with it. I, frankly, don't see the appeal, but he must enjoy it - he spent hours out there doing nothing else.
Snows come in assorted sizes. I think this was an Extra-Large. It lasted all day long and into the night. The Husband was out there twice with his Shovel, and he says he'll be doing it again today. When he was inside, he and the Wife were watching it on tv. Apparently when one of these snows is of the Large variety, the local tv stations send people out in it with microphones and cameras so we can see what they look like standing in it. The Husband and Wife watched them do that all day long.
Hunky and Dorie sat at the living room window, mesmerized by the falling snow and the coating of white that was everywhere. For about ten minutes. Then they resumed their usual routine of tearing around the house and getting into things.
These snows tend to hang around for a while. Especially the Extra-Larges. Which means we'll all be stuck in the house for a while.
Which means more lap time for me.
January 31, 2005
---Monday---
It happens every year at this time. I get stuck indoors because the outdoors is too cold, too wet or, as is the present problem, too much. Snow, that is. It is literally up to my eyeballs. Except where the Husband moved it away from the driveway and sidewalks (which are not a cat's native habitat).
I like the outdoors. Even in the winter months. I'm well-padded with extra winter fur and fat and can handle the cold for extended periods, but the walls of snow that are presently everywhere keep me from my favorite spots (the woods, the creek, and the necessary bathroom bush), so I'm kinda restricted. I'll usually just sit out on the front steps and watch the world go by. The Husband and Wife keep track of me and coax me in if it's too cold.
And since I can't get to my favorite bush, I'm resigned to using those confining boxes of litter downstairs. It's bad enough they're too small, but what the other guys do to them is not mentionable here.
Aside from that, it's almost impossible to get a decent cat nap with the terrible twosome wreaking havoc throughout the house. I've discovered that the Wife's chair in the computer room is a safe haven, particularly when it faces away from the door. Hunky and Dorie can't tell I'm there, and they continue their rampaging elsewhere.
Still, I'll be quite happy when the snow decides to leave. I dunno where it goes when it leaves, I just know that it eventually does.
And I hope soon.
February 5, 2005
---Saturday---
Never underestimate the bond between a human and a cat.
There's no place like home.
February 11, 2005
---Friday---
I've been to the vet three times in the last week. I know that isn't good. I know that I'm winding down from my many adventures. I don't have the energy I used to have. I prefer just to let the days pass by. Hunky and Dorie have inherited the Earth, and they can have it with my blessing.
I get laptime and head rubs whenever I want. The Husband and Wife are nearby to hand them out. The tv drones on pleasantly to remind me of all the many laptimes and head rubs I've received while it was on. I can't think of a better way to spend my energyless days.
Catnaps for everyone. I'll check back with you next week.
Purrrrr.
February 25, 2005
---Friday---
I'm tired of being tired.
Usually.
March 3, 2005
---Thursday---
There's a newcomer to the Foo Gallery - another Opie. Welcome Opie #7. Pull up a scratching post and join the fun.
I was feeling poorly for the month of February, but I sense the near-arrival of spring, and I'm determined to be ready for it. I'm still a bit wobbly on my feet, but I'm tired of just catnapping all day. My legs (and other parts) may be old, but my heart is still young.A few days ago, I saw the Husband heading for the door to the garage, and I managed to make my way to the door without too much difficulty, to let him know I wanted to get out. I think he was impressed (I haven't moved about much in the last two weeks). The big garage door was open to the outside, but unfortunately it had been snowing (he was just on his way out with his shovel toy to play in the snow), so I took up a spot at the edge of the garage floor and watched him push the snow around.
This lasted about an hour. I ventured out onto the driveway that he had recently pushed the snow from, but it was still cold and wet, so I returned to the garage. When the Husband had finished, he sat next to me and talked. He's been doing that a lot lately, but I don't have any idea what he's trying to say. Still, I listen politely and attentively and try to seem interested. Eventually, he carries me back into the warmth of the house. At least I got out for a while.
I hope it gets warmer soon. I look forward to some front step lounging in the sunshine.
Peace and warmth.
March 14, 2005
---Monday---
It seems my time here is just about up. I'll soon be moving on to my next big adventure.
Thanks to everyone who visited these humble pages over the last seven years of rantings, expressiveness and observations. I had fun and I leave happy and contented. I hope your lives will be as full as mine.
Keep an eye on Hunky and Dorie for me. I'll be off in the great cosmic woods somewhere, chasing critters with c.c. Wish me luck.
Love,
-- Opie